First Impressions

The urban fantasy series about a teenage girl who becomes a werewolf

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Moomba
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First Impressions

Postby Moomba » Mon Jul 30, 2012 11:12 am

*Warning. Potential spoilers below, possibly. I'll try to keep them to a minimum.*

Wooh, I have so many thoughts I don't even know where to start. Okay, so this is SirAuron99 from deviantART which I'm only mentioning because until now deviantART's the only place I've commented on Kiojan's Lycanthrope Club stories. A few hours ago I finished reading my PDF copy of the book. Unfortunately I'm marooned at home with the flu right now and had nothing better to do, so I ended up bombing through the book. Aaand I have to say I enjoyed it. A lot. I definitely think it was an improvement over the original version of the story, which I'm sure was obviously the intent. A lot of the changes near the end were more drastic then I expected, but I liked them. I found that they worked well. And for a story that seems like it focuses on the personal challenges and conflicts of the protagonist rather then any good vs evil type of scenario, I think the changes made were also very necessary.

The original story had an antagonist of sorts, at least by my definition of one, and that villain was pretty much absent in this version. Or at least their role was diminished... I think. I'm really curious about if the werewolf who bites Melina in this book is the same character from the original. You know, like if they had the same back story and all that. Their altered role in the story also sort of eliminates what I considered a be a significant kind of off-screen event that occurred between them and the character Yvette. I feel like this potentially changes a lot of about Yvette's potential future in the story, in the long run, but... at the same time I can't really complain since what was implied what happened originally kind of a upset me. xP I like Yvette.

As for Cynthia, she seems MUCH bitchier in this version then she did in the last. Which I totally support. It worked well with her role in the story.

In the end, it felt like most of the changes that were made for this book resulted in it being more clearly established that Melina forges a strong friendship with a few of the other significant characters. Or at least a mutual tolerance, depending on the character. I very much appreciated this, and it may be one of the top reasons I liked the alterations that were made from the original version.

As for the illustrations in the book, they were amazing. Simply bad ass. And I expected no less from Dirk I. Tiede and Leo. I found Dirk's final illustration especially fitting and fantastic. ...Now with that said, there was a minor thing about the illustrations that irked me a bit, and that was their placement. Before reading the book I assumed that each chapter would start with an illustration detailing something that happens within the chapter. That doesn't seem to be the case, which is totally fine. As I started reading however, I got the impression that illustrations were being placed based on what was happening at that exact moment in the story. Like an illustraton of Melinda in the car placed right before the text depicting that scene. But then after a while it started to feel like the illustrations were... idunno, slightly misplaced or something. Like, Melina is described chasing a deer and then tackling it down, but then the illustration immediately after depicts her still running. Or a scene is described of certain characters changing into werewolves, and once they're fully transformed, an illustration is placed showing them still in the midst of their transformations. Idunno, it just bugged me a little. It's a super minor thing though, so it's hardly worth fussing over. I'm just nitpicking.

Mmm, what else? ...Oh, what the heck are Melina's parent's names? For some reason I'm painfully curious about that.

As for typos, I didn't notice many except for two.
First
“Ow-…OW OW! Easy lady!” hissed Yvette.
on page 67. I think that was meant to be Cynthia, Heidi, or Lily speaking.
The second was
“How did she…?” said Cynthia, confused.
on page 86. I believe that was suppose to be Melinda, Heidi, or Lily speaking.
These typos were in the full color PDF version, so idunno yet if they're in either of the print copies or not.

I'm sure there was more I wanted to comment on, but I can't remember at the moment. I'm probably not making a lot of sense with my remarks anyway. xP Sooo I'll just end by saying, I loved this book. I love the Lycanthrope Club stories. They've pretty much reinvigorated my dead passion for werewolf literature, and I've come to really care about the the Lycanthrope Club universe itself. If/and/or when Kiojan attempts to publish Book 2, I'll certainly be right there to support it through money donations, purchasing the product when it's finished, offering my input if he asks for readers' opinions on anything, and ect. As for this book, I'm definitely purchasing a print copy the very second I have the spare cash.

So Tristan, if you're reading this, thanks so much for going through the trouble of finishing this project. I hope you enjoyed it all in all even if it must have been an exhausting experience, because I certainly enjoyed reading the final result. I loved the story, you're a great writer, so keep on doing what you're doing. Heck, even if you end up publishing a book unrelated to Lycanthrope Club, I'll probably be interested in checking it out at this point. Man I think I feel motivated to go do something productive now.

And I suppose I'll check out the rest of this forum when I have a chance. ...Hrm, I hope more people end up posting in here. Maybe this thread could be used for people to post their first impressions about the book. Idunno.

Kiojan
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Posts: 18
Joined: Sat Mar 17, 2012 10:17 pm

Re: First Impressions

Postby Kiojan » Mon Jul 30, 2012 11:59 pm

Measured, thoughtful, and polite constructive criticism? This is rarer than gold on the Internet! Thank you!

I definitely think it was an improvement over the original version of the story, which I'm sure was obviously the intent. A lot of the changes near the end were more drastic then I expected, but I liked them. I found that they worked well. And for a story that seems like it focuses on the personal challenges and conflicts of the protagonist rather then any good vs evil type of scenario, I think the changes made were also very necessary.

The original story had an antagonist of sorts, at least by my definition of one, and that villain was pretty much absent in this version. Or at least their role was diminished... I think. I'm really curious about if the werewolf who bites Melina in this book is the same character from the original. You know, like if they had the same back story and all that. Their altered role in the story also sort of eliminates what I considered a be a significant kind of off-screen event that occurred between them and the character Yvette. I feel like this potentially changes a lot of about Yvette's potential future in the story, in the long run, but... at the same time I can't really complain since what was implied what happened originally kind of a upset me. xP I like Yvette.

Yeah, the ancient werewolf was one of the weakest plot elements, so I reduced his role in the first book. The conflict is much more character driven that way. Of course, this means the sequels will require a substantial rewrite...

As for the illustrations in the book, they were amazing. Simply bad ass. And I expected no less from Dirk I. Tiede and Leo. I found Dirk's final illustration especially fitting and fantastic. ...Now with that said, there was a minor thing about the illustrations that irked me a bit, and that was their placement. Before reading the book I assumed that each chapter would start with an illustration detailing something that happens within the chapter. That doesn't seem to be the case, which is totally fine. As I started reading however, I got the impression that illustrations were being placed based on what was happening at that exact moment in the story. Like an illustraton of Melinda in the car placed right before the text depicting that scene. But then after a while it started to feel like the illustrations were... idunno, slightly misplaced or something. Like, Melina is described chasing a deer and then tackling it down, but then the illustration immediately after depicts her still running. Or a scene is described of certain characters changing into werewolves, and once they're fully transformed, an illustration is placed showing them still in the midst of their transformations. Idunno, it just bugged me a little. It's a super minor thing though, so it's hardly worth fussing over. I'm just nitpicking.

That was mostly due to formatting and fitting images into pages. I'll try to make the illustration placement a little more relevant in the next edition.
Mmm, what else? ...Oh, what the heck are Melina's parent's names? For some reason I'm painfully curious about that.

I actually did assign them names, but they never came up and I didn't see a reason to bring them up.
As for typos, I didn't notice many except for two.
First

The typos (and more) will be fixed in the next edition
So Tristan, if you're reading this, thanks so much for going through the trouble of finishing this project. I hope you enjoyed it all in all even if it must have been an exhausting experience, because I certainly enjoyed reading the final result. I loved the story, you're a great writer, so keep on doing what you're doing. Heck, even if you end up publishing a book unrelated to Lycanthrope Club, I'll probably be interested in checking it out at this point. Man I think I feel motivated to go do something productive now.

And I suppose I'll check out the rest of this forum when I have a chance. ...Hrm, I hope more people end up posting in here. Maybe this thread could be used for people to post their first impressions about the book. Idunno.

I'm glad you enjoyed the book. The best thing you could do to help is tell your friends about the book, the forum, and the website. Word of mouth advertisement is all we can afford :D

Moomba
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Re: First Impressions

Postby Moomba » Wed Aug 01, 2012 12:07 pm

Kiojan wrote:I'm glad you enjoyed the book. The best thing you could do to help is tell your friends about the book, the forum, and the website. Word of mouth advertisement is all we can afford :D


Oh absolutely. Rest assured I'm doing just that. ...Although I'm not sure if I've managed to garner much attention for it yet.

Speaking of advertisement, I noticed Leo uploaded a journal entry about the book on DA. That's pretty awesome! Hopefully that will help out too.

Cuchulin
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Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2012 8:50 pm

Re: First Impressions

Postby Cuchulin » Sat Aug 18, 2012 3:28 pm

Lycanthropic club is very good story so far, I really like how becomeing a were-wolf has changed Melinda (especialy her human form) and the other girls ended up as were-wolves.
That said i am dispointed at the lack of even semi-explicit nudity when it comes to the illustrations.

LarryPage
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Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2016 8:35 am

Re: First Impressions

Postby LarryPage » Wed Feb 10, 2016 8:36 am

Moomba wrote:First
“Ow-…OW OW! Easy lady!” hissed Yvette.
on page 67. I think that was meant to be Cynthia, Heidi, or Lily speaking.
The second was
“How did she…?” said Cynthia, confused.
on page 86. I believe that was suppose to be Melinda, Heidi, or Lily speaking.
These typos were in the full color PDF version, so idunno yet if they're in either of the print copies or not.



I don't think these are already in the printed copies. Might as well double check to be sure. I don't want a spoiler on these. I think the story is so good that I want my imagination to run not to see spoilers. But reading this gives me an idea of what to expect.


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